Dear Santa

Bryant

     Santa, I really have tried my best this year. Getting lost in a bathroom for an hour wasn't my fault, I couldn't see the door handle from the floor. Yes, I may have invited a few too many friends to my house that one time, and my Dad sure wasn't happy about the holes in the wall, but I never meant for that to happen! After all the craziness, I decided I was in dire need of nap. Unfortunately, I chose to take this nap while functionifng a fully-operational motor vehicle. I hope you wrap my presents as well as I did my car to that tree! But besides these minor bumps, I have been a good boy.

     Santa, what I really want more than anything in the world is maybe some rubbing alcohol for my foot (the cuts are starting to get infected), a new driver's license, and another party at my house! Maybe a book on JFK or Stephen Harper? Considering they're my heroes, I should probably learn something about them. And Santa, if you don't give me what I want, I will send you a text with a thousand exclamation marks just to show you how angry I am.

The Seven Stanza Serenade

The women in front of me in the line, sipping on her wine

I wasn’t there; I just heard it through the grapevine

          I shouldn’t pay attention to these rumors I hear

And they do not speak, they talk with their hands

Which they stick in their ears, which they bury in the sand

I yell at them, but they don’t respond

My friends die, and yet I stay alive

They enjoy Heaven, but they didn’t like the drive

I’m just happy that they did arrive

I’m rifling through pockets of my mind

Besides some lint and change, there’s nothing that I find

Wonder where I lost all that

I played Icarus, my second favourite drum

I was playing hot, as if closely to the sun

The damage can’t be undone

Inside the old box, there lays my pa

          He ran and he ran, but got snagged by the law

They hung him, and found him guilty too

I am the stop sign, yet they run right by me

I stop one of them, and being to plead

“Sir, can you please watch your speed?”